For some reason when people think of a woman in fitness being confident online, their minds always gravitate towards her showing a lot of skin. That has to be far away from the truth. Owning your confidence as a woman may involve showing skin and there is nothing wrong with that. It has a lot to do with the mindset of a woman. Sometimes, you need to keep your head lifted high. By doing the things you thought you couldn’t do and fully accepting who you are because you are worth it.
You are worthy of living the life that you desire to live. The only person that can give you that is you. I wanted to share this with you because I was not always confident in myself. My self-esteem was low in my teens and early twenties. I learnt that confidence comes from within by loving yourself.
Some of you might be lost in how to own your confidence as woman. I’m going to share some tips that have helped me over the years. You have to give yourself permission to show yourself a level of love that no one can. You have to take responsibility of taking care of yourself because you deserve it. Owning your confidence is celebration of you and it’s a form of self-love that is unconditional.
Having Confidence Means To Stay True To Yourself
Believing in your own views and standing by them is a part of being confident. If you find yourself agreeing with the opinions of others more, even though you don’t agree with it internally, you are diminishing your power. I used to fear having a different opinion from others because I thought I would be left out. I also thought that I could be wrong. Making a mistake or being wrong is inevitable and part of your growth. It becomes an opportunity for you to gain more awareness and knowledge to form a better perspective on a matter.
Sometimes you need to pull yourself away from all the distractions and spend time with yourself. Shut off the noise around you, keep your blinders up and let your reasoning influence you. I find that doing small meditation sessions have helped me to discover more about myself and my way of thought. Learn to dig deep within yourself without judgment and fear and learn more about who you are.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Comparison is the thief of joy. The age of social media has definitely made it harder for us. We are bombarded with several images and videos of people’s physiques, lifestyles, status, beauty etc. Some women are able to scroll past that and not compare themselves whilst others are not. Sometimes I find myself creeping back into the comparison game. I have to actively tell myself to not compare my circumstances to someone else. Remind myself to change my thoughts and be happy for the other person. I can be hard to do that but it is all part of switching your mindset.
To own your confidence as woman, you need to remind yourself that you are unique human being. You are beautiful in your own way…and so are the other women. Being jealous and envious of others takes up too much energy that could have been directed at something more impactful for you. When you find yourself in space of comparison, try to change your mindset into an attitude full of gratitude. Express the things that you are grateful for in your life and all the things that you love about yourself.
Speak Up For Yourself Is A Part of Your Confidence
You have to be assertive when it comes to yourself and your boundaries. Not everyone is going to like it but they are there to protect you. Never be afraid to let people know that what you don’t like. Always share your thoughts if you feel like you are being disrespected or taken advantage of.
I understand that, in some cases, you may not want to hurt the other person’s feelings. By not sharing your thoughts, but you end up doing a disservice to yourself and to them. They are not aware that the behaviour they are exhibiting is not tolerated by you and it will continue. Also you are giving permission to them to treat you in that way. To be able to speak up by voicing the things you like as well as the things you don’t like is owning your confidence. There is nothing wrong with that.
When I was in my teens, I used to be so scared to tell people that I didn’t like what they did towards me. I would let it happen. By remaining silent, I gave people the permission to step over me. It took me a lot of years to get to where I am now. Learning to say ‘No’ and using that as a complete sentence helped me to regain my confidence. When you find yourself in this space, stand up straight, believe in your own voice, and express yourself clearly. If any person makes you feel like you are being unreasonable by speaking up, run. Run fast in the other direction because these people are not going to help you build up your confidence.
Let Go Of Fear
You never need to ask for permission to be yourself. Read that again. Be relentless in going after what you want in life despite the expectations that others have for you. Let go of the fear of standing out, the doubts of your abilities and the fear of failing. Being yourself whilst enjoying everything that life has to offer is core confidence. When you learn to fully accept yourself, give yourself grace, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, letting go of things that no longer serve you as well as shifting your mindset from scarcity to abundance, you will see shift in your daily life.
When I decided that I wanted to work on my confidence, the first thing I worked on was judgement. I used to judge people a lot, both consciously and unconsciously, until it really affected my mindset. By freeing my mind and having empathy for other people’s journeys, I let go of putting people down to feel better about myself. I was operating from a place of fear instead of trusting it myself. Release the chains that fear has over you and start living in confidence.
Take Care Of Your Health
Taking care of your body both inside and outside is the most simple and largest approach to owning your confidence as a woman. Maintaining a healthy body through diet and exercise will not only better your outward appearance but also can help with reducing stress and anxiety. Moreover, maintaining a healthy mind and overall well-being is equally as important as maintaining a healthy body. It’s important for you to carve out time in your day, every day, to honour your well-being and invest in yourself so you can be the healthier version of you.
Find what works for you and enjoy it. By practicing self-care, you are showing yourself a level of love that no one can. You are setting yourself as a priority, you are energising yourself to engage with the world at 100% as well as learning to rediscover yourself. The areas within yourself that you see as problems you can’t let go, work through them. Take the active steps you need to change them so you can one day wake up in the morning knowing that you sought out the courage to develop your confidence.
Be Confident In Your Worth
You are worthy. You are valuable. At this moment, you may be a work in progress but you need to know your worth wherever you go. Spend less time doubting your abilities and more time being grateful about the positive traits that you have. Create micro-moments of awareness during day where you celebrate both the small and big victories that you have achieved.
Get a journal or planner and write down the things that you want to work on for that week. Be intentional with creating time to celebrate your worth. It could be taking yourself out on a solo date, going to your favourite restaurant, trying out of a new activity or simply immersing yourself in silence. Being confident in your worth will help you find that happiness within yourself that you couldn’t find at one point.
Sometimes you need to get out of your way and take everything that life has to offer. Say yes to the ideas and opportunities that scare you, pursue your passions, trust yourself more and don’t seek approval from others. Remember that confidence is a skill that you can lose and build over time.
The more you believe in yourself, the more the achieve what you want from life. Think more abundance, less of scarcity.
I hope that this topic resonated with you. It’s something that is very close to my heart. Let me know other tips that have helped you to own your confidence and share this with a friend that may need some words of guidance.
Until next time,
Folakemi
