I feel like this year was the first year of many where I wanted to be intentional about the goals that I wanted to set for the year. With the end of the June creeping up slowly, it’s a good time to start thinking about how the first half of 2021 has been going. I’ve spent most of last year in a void trying to survive through this season and not really living my life. Many of us have been practicing social distancing for nearly a year and a half now and are slowly reintegrating ourselves into this new normal, waiting for Ms. Rona to finish whatever she is doing. At the same time, a lot of us have spent time reflecting on how we are living our lives, and what exactly we want to get out of life. That could be wanting to start something new that intimidates us slightly or scares us. I thought this would be a good time to share my tips into manifesting the life that you want.
3 years ago, I stumbled across a series of motivational speeches that I ended up listening to every day during my training sessions for that year, which led me to the path of transforming my thoughts and helped me change the way I live my life. My life today is different to what I thought it would have been in 2015. I became a powerlifter. I started solo travelling. I started to feel more confident in myself and my dreams. I’ve built strong, adult friendships which are flourishing and I’m the happiest I have been in such a long time. I never really had an idea what I wanted to do as a career mainly because I like so many different things and choosing just one was too narrow for me. I had taken interdisciplinary degrees so that I was able to shift around until I found what I wanted. I’m happy to say that at 28, I know the steps that I need to take to reach the life that I want to lead. There will be always challenges, obstacles and setbacks but I’m human after all. It’s so easy for us to focus on the negatives, by being angry, fearful, and jealous instead focusing on the positives such as being optimistic, hopeful and having faith in your abilities.
This past year, I’ve realised that I enjoy being with my co-workers but the actual role isn’t that fulfilling anymore. I find that my purpose is to continue serving and helping others but not in this capacity. I don’t enjoy working in a place that continuously gaslights Black women. I don’t enjoy working in an environment where the humanity of Black people and ethnic minorities doesn’t matter. I don’t enjoy experiencing micro-aggressions everyday or having people touch my hair freely. This past year has made me realise that I need to go where I am celebrated and not tolerated. I’ve invested more into my passion projects such as my blog, powerlifting and my role as a content creator. In each of these roles, I serve and help people. I enjoy it. I enjoy hearing that what I am putting out there is resonating with other people, and that is the best part of what I do. Each of us have a purpose in this world. No matter how many times you try to talk yourself out of it, fight it or save it for a later date, there is a voice in your heart, your mind and your soul that keeps on telling you that this is your purpose. If you choose to listen to it or not, that decision is up to you. Here are my 5 tips to manifest the life that you want.
It Starts With Changing Your Mindset
I have to credit redefining what health and fitness meant for me with helping me stop the negative self-talk. When I stopped training for a bodybuilding competition in 2015, I fell into a very dark place and at every opportunity that came around, I would say something negative about my body and myself. For example, I’d say: My body looks ugly. I’m not beautiful. I would believe because I spoke that into existence and that is all that I saw. From that point, I realised that it was necessary to change the way that I spoke to myself and about myself. I wouldn’t speak like that to a friend, so why was it acceptable to speak to myself like that? Instead, I started to say: I am beautiful and my body deserves to be honoured for what it does for me. It took me a whole year to catch myself speaking negatively and correcting myself for it to stick. Now, I stop letting those thoughts finding a home in my mind and I’ll change it to something more positivity and optimistic. I started leaning into daily affirmations and saying them out loud to myself every morning until I started to believe it.
It’s so much easier to be negative. It’s easier to let fear lead your life and operate from a place of scarcity and not have a mindset of abundance. Our minds are so powerful. If your mind believes it, your body will follow. You become what you think. If you believe that you are not good enough and you don’t have the abilities to change your life, you won’t. I used to stand in front of mirror in the mornings and read out an affirmation every day. I know it sounds silly, but the power of language and the mind are a force that cannot be reckoned with. To this day, I read or listen to my affirmations every day. They are always in my mind and if you absorb something that much, it becomes a part of you. There are some days where I may let negative self-talk creep in…I’m not perfect but I don’t stay there for long. Change your mindset to think better about yourself and others.
There are two staples that I have with me at all times: pen and paper. Whenever I have an idea or thoughts of what I want to achieve, I write it down so I don’t forget about it. The same things apply to my goals and intentions. It is easier to know what they are if you have them written down in a book. I spend the last two weeks of the year reflecting and writing down my goals for the following year. I break them down into smaller goals per month. I write them in my goals book. I have them saved as sticky notes on my wall. I have them recorded as a voice memo on my phone. I have them in my Notes app. I see them everywhere so I’m subconsciously thinking about them every time. I like to cross things off a list once I am done them. I find it therapeutic. It’s a great way to clear your mind. Goals are easier to reach if you know what they are. Spend time noting them down.
Stop Comparing & Competing
Comparison is the thief of joy. There is one thing, especially in the health and fitness industry, that has bothered me in the past and is a huge issue for a lot of people. It’s comparing your chapter 1 with someone else’s chapter 10. There is more than enough for everyone. There is more than enough space for everyone. There is more than enough lanes for everyone. Everyone can slay exceptionally in their lanes. Someone else’s success is not your failure. Following someone else’s strategy doesn’t mean that you will obtain the same results. One thing that I realised early on in life is that being jealous takes up too much energy. It’s normal for us as humans to be jealous but it’s a complex emotion can be detrimental to our health. I find that by accepting that jealousy is normal and challenging your thoughts can help find the root of that emotion. It wasn’t until I got out of that mindset of scarcity that I realised that the root of my jealous issues stemmed from a place of lack of self-confidence. When you find yourself thinking: ‘Why did she get that affiliate status, that campaign, that body from training, that opportunity, what’s so good about her that I don’t have?’ Change your thoughts: ‘She deserves those things. She works hard and I’m happy for her’ Sometimes it may be hard to believe it but say it anyway. It sends a signal to your mind that you are challenging old thinking habits and you are opening up yourself for good things to happen to you. As like changing your mindset, you have to intentionally work on it to become a habit. Surround yourself with people who are positive, encouraging and operate from a space of abundance. You are the company that you keep. If you continuously surround yourself with people that operate from a place of negativity and jealousy, you’re going to find yourself falling back into that hole more often. What is for me is for me and it won’t miss me. The only person I’m competing with is me. I work to be better than who I was yesterday. A win for my circle is a win for me.
Stop Seeking Validation From Others
Not everyone will be for you. Not everyone will cheer for you. That’s a fact. Stop seeking validation for your goals and dreams from anyone. The only person that needs to validate them is you. There are going to be people in your life whether they are close to you or not, who will say a lot about the decisions that you are making. They may say things such as: ‘I don’t think that is good for you. I don’t think you should do that. I don’t think it will work out etc.’ It’s not their fault at times. It’s the human condition that has told us that there are constraints and limits to what we can achieve. Those people are operating from a place of fear. You are one of the few who is not allowing fear to direct your future. There are people in life who simply follow you to watch you fail but don’t let them deter you from your path to growth. Wish them well and do you anyway. Put your blinders and focus on watering your own garden.
Execute, Evaluate, & Grow
Everyone has ideas. The people that succeed in life are the people that execute their ideas even if they fail. The magic is in the execution. You gain experience, you learn a lot of lessons from the mistakes you make and through trial and error, you evaluate what to continue and what to stop. Some people never try to execute their ideas because they are scared of failing and not doing it perfectly. Perfect don’t exist and that’s not the way to live life. Progression exists. Small progress is still progress. Think of every successful person in life. If they had listened to the naysayers and never executed their ideas, they wouldn’t be where they are today and their ideas would have never been shared with the world. There is no such thing as the perfect time to start. It doesn’t exist. If I had waited to start my fitness journey or start powerlifting until I thought it was the perfect time to start, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I thought I could write a simple ebook about the most frequently asked questions that I receive about starting your fitness journey. I wrote that book in a month. I worked on multiple drafts until I got the finished product in six months. There is always room to share your knowledge because no one has your voice, your creativity and your experience. What if I had told myself that there are more experienced people than me out there so I’m not going to do it? Just do it! Start now.
Here’s the thing…no matter how big or small your goals are, each win is always worth a celebration. Take the time to discover yourself and plan the next moves for your life.
Until next time,