When you think of confidence or being confident, what comes to mind? If I think back to the start of my self-confidence journey in my early twenties, it was always an image of a person that carried themselves well. In the way that they dressed and their aura. They were always engaging and had nothing to prove to anyone else. The moment I decided to get into lifting was the beginning of my confidence boost in my twenties.
Despite being confident as a child, I didn’t have it as a teen. Unfortunately, secondary school (high school) ruined that. I entered with high self-esteem and came out of it with low self-esteem. My sense of self and my confidence was completely gone. Luckily fitness, especially powerlifting, gave me that avenue to develop my confidence again. I felt that I was accomplishing something each day. My energy levels were higher and I was growing stronger both physically and mentally. It gave me the push I needed to decide who I wanted to be and how I wanted to sculpt myself as I grew older. That meant no more negative self-talk, comparing myself to others, and allowing others to write my story.
The Lesson
In sum, that boost in confidence led me to solo travel and participate in solo dates.
By using my twenties to navigate independency, health and fitness and what those three areas meant to me, provided me with a foundation. What I have learnt is that to boost confidence is something that you are continuously going to work on. It changes forms as you get older. Having a foundation in these seven areas helps you to develop your sense of identity and embody what confidence means to you.
Confidence, noun: a feeling or belief that you can do something well, have the ability to meet life’s challenges or succeed at something.
Boost Your Confidence By Embracing Your Individuality
If you want to boost your confidence, you have to embrace who you are and believe in yourself. We are all individuals for a reason. There is something about each person that makes them unique. Likewise, it’s that unique gift that allows you to be in a state of sureness. It’s that mindset of staying true to yourself and your convictions. By owning that, you are creating a foundation for your confidence and celebrating the very expression of you.
It seems that with the rise of consuming other people’s lives, it has become easy to adopt sameness. Unfortunately that can lead to being unsure of yourself, feeling unfulfilled with your goals, and how you want to sculpt this life you have been given.
I love writing. It’s one of my mediums to connect with other people for instance. Whether it’s through storytelling, detailed messaging or connecting my thoughts to paper, I have always been able to connect with people that way. With the rise of short form video, I thought that I could convert easily to that medium. Over time, I realised that it was difficult for me. It wasn’t a lack of trying as video can always be learned. I was fighting for attention instead of connecting to share a story. I had easily adopted that sameness unconsciously and forgot to embrace my individuality. As a result, that left me in a state of confusion for a couple of years.
In other words, embrace the gifts that you have and your identity. It will feel more natural than throwing on mask to fit in.
Make Fitness A Part of Your Lifestyle
Getting into a consistent fitness routine and making it a part of your lifestyle is an excellent way to boost your confidence. Regular exercise improves your self-confidence because you feel better and stronger both physically and mentally. You gain a sense of accomplishment as fitness is about setting goals and achieving them. When you reach the goals that you have set, it brings a sense of achievement.
Moreover, as it’s getting dark later, I have more time to go on longer walks during the weekend.
A lot of us are in our work from home era and I love that for us. However, it can be easy to remain sedentary for the whole 9-5. We have to remember to do things that keep us active and flexible such as taking an afternoon walk or stretching.
Drink Water
We need water. No matter what you have to do, drink it, so let’s get it. I drink my water from the kitchen tap or a public fountain. After living in the UK, I can never drink water from the bathroom tap. However, that is a common tap to drink water from in Switzerland because it all comes from the same place. I always carry a water bottle with me. Water makes me feel good and boosts my confidence because I know that I’m keeping myself hydrated. Additionally, it’s good for my skin, hair and nails as it flushes out all the toxins.
A lot of people struggle to drink water consistently. Either they don’t drink enough water or they don’t drink it all. Changing your habits and mindset around water consumption can easily boost your confidence. Maybe you need to invest in a bottle or maybe fancy glasses and straws. Maybe you might be an Evian girlie or a Dasani girlie. Whether you want to infuse your water or drink a particular water brand, do it well and level up.
If you regularly forget to drink water, come on over to my Instagram stories. I do a water check-in every week to remind you to get your water in.
Make Time For Enjoyment & Something Challenging
Writing blog posts, watching movies, enjoying immersive experiences and spending time with family and friends even though it may take time to get there makes me feel really good and really boosts my confidence. Right now, I’m in my self-care era and I’m living life at my own pace. For me, that means more regular solo dates, solo travel whether that is international, domestic or staycations and creating a life that sustains me for the years to come.
I enjoy getting my nails done, going out with my friends, eating good food, trips to the bookstore or a museum. Of course, there is always going to be work and other life responsibilities, but making time for the things that I truly enjoy has boosted my confidence significantly.
Simultaneously, learning something new like a skill, or a language or perfecting an existing craft also is a boost to my confidence. It’s a new challenge and it allows me to be a beginner again. I get to embrace the sucky part and it makes me more appreciative of the journey to getting better at it.
Stay Connected To Your Faith
The Rule of 7 says that a message must be received or heard in 7 different ways in order for a desired behavioural change. For me, I became more intentional about my faith in 2016. I had grown up with the Christian faith but I didn’t feel connected to it until I made that decision in 2016. That year was my changed mindset year when I decided that I wanted a relationship with God and have an intentional connection to my faith.
Having a set word or phrase for the year with a Bible verse related to it and an ‘I am affirmation’ helped me boost my confidence in that area. I believe it’s because of the constant repetition, reading and studying of the Bible that made me feel that I was not alone. There is this higher being, God, beside me and looking after me that gave me this sense of peace. It made me feel better and see myself better. ‘Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind’ (Romans 2:12 ESV)
When I felt that shift a few years later, my confidence went from not being fully developed to look at what God has done for me and my life. It made me more grateful that I get to live life every day. That is my opportunity to be a 1% better.
Boost Your Confidence By How You Present Yourself
Last but not least, present yourself how you want to be addressed. This comes through based on how you carry yourself and how you dress. It’s that simple. It may make you sigh but dressing the part will always boost your confidence. You can be confident in whatever you decide gives you that boost. It can be a particular accessory or a mood. I don’t like to be “on it” every day and most people don’t either, but there is a lot that comes, by dressing the part.
My wardrobe is one area that I know that I need to work on more. I have a lot of occasion pieces that are beautiful but I don’t have basic, timeless pieces that can be mixed and styled into multiple outfits. I’m currently going through an overhaul of my wardrobe to update it to match how I want present myself and how I want to dress in my 30s. That also includes my work from home style. Something that I have always told myself since I was in college is that: to feel good you’ve got to look good. Definitely a great statement to abide by, even in my least favourite style moments, I’ve worn things that don’t make me feel confident.
Boost Your Confidence By Acknowledging Your Current Season
Lastly sometimes our lack of confidence, whether it is a particular situation or a season, comes from the fact that we don’t want to acknowledge or accept it for what it is. Even though it is temporary and won’t last forever, it can affect our confidence.
Maybe you have to pay off a credit card but ignoring it feels easier than addressing it and putting a budget plan to clear it. Or maybe you see all your friends travelling the world but you can’t afford it, so you are putting yourself in the negative to not miss out. The thing is that your current season is temporary. By acknowledging where you are now and where you want to be in a year’s time really depends on you. By putting a plan in place and working towards the goal can boost your confidence in ways that you can’t imagine.
I used to save money without being intentional about saving money. A particular situation in 2019 came to the surface and it pushed me to buying a £1 budget spreadsheet and get serious about saving money. Five years later, I’m in a position where I can afford take to myself on multiple holidays in one calendar year. I am only in this position now because I consistently acknowledge my current season and where I want to be in the next 2 to 3 years. Working towards that goal gives me a boost in confidence because I have plan in place to get there.
Share your confidence boost tips in the comments below. I hope that this post has given you confirmed areas to develop your confidence and sense of identity. Make sure to hit that subscribe button to join the community and never miss out on a post. Find me on Instagram, Pinterest and TikTok for more powerlifting and wellness content.
Until next time,
Folakemi
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