This year, I created a solo dates jar of ideas to keep my dating activities creative and new. Sometimes, I would find an activity that looks great but it would be the wrong season. Or I needed more time to plan it. Most of the time, I would forget to note the idea down and completely forget about it. Until I saw something that reminded me of it, and would scribble it somewhere. Surprisingly, I had so many ideas all over the place without an organised system. Ultimately, this led me to create Post-It notes of at least a hundred different activities to do solo.
I’ve been dating myself for years. I believe I started in 2017 or 2018 with a weekend trip to Annecy. Here and there I would share these dates on Instagram Stories. This year I decided to make an effort to post them on my feed. That way I could share with you what I like to do for fun outside my 9-5, powerlifting and blogging. Second, is to give ideas to those of you who want to start but don’t know how. Spending quality time with myself has been the best form of self-care. I’ve become more comfortable being by myself and that has made me more confident in discovering new likes and dislikes.
Why Date Yourself?
When we think about dating, the first thing that comes to mind is romantic love. The beauty of dating yourself can actually be incredibly fulfilling! You have an opportunity to discover new experiences on your own time, doing exactly what you want, where you want without catering to others. You get to put yourself first. As the first-born, eldest daughter and eldest granddaughter in a Nigerian family, being able to cater to myself without catering to others first is no easy feat! When I started to do solo dates, it created a freeing atmosphere by me for me. I get so much joy out of them!
How To Start Dating Yourself
The first thing about dating yourself is accepting and understanding that you don’t need a romantic partner with you to have great time. You don’t need to have a romantic partner to go on a holiday, try out a new restaurant, explore your town or city, or go out to the cinema. There are activities that you can do on your own without taking someone else’s interests and preferences into account.
The second thing about dating yourself is looking at it as an investment. That investment can look like creating a journaling practice, nourishing your body with the right foods, taking care of your physical health, splurging on yourself or doing something completely new.
What I Have Learnt Through Solo Dating
What I have been learning through this period of solo dates has been a journey of self-exploration. There are some activities that I thought I wouldn’t enjoy, e.g. taking a pottery class. It was one of the most humbling experiences because I thought it was going to be easy! I’m lucky that I even created something out of that lump of clay. I thought going on a huge shopping spree was going to be a lot of fun and…I didn’t enjoy it. I feel like that is the beauty of this journey. Learning more about myself, my dislikes and likes. Lastly, I also believe that doing regular solo dates prepares me for a future relationship because I know myself better and I’m comfortable being on my own.
I have truly mastered spending Saturday movie nights at home with a glass of wine (Moscato is a fan favourite at the moment), some Maltesers and a gazillion candles lit.
Tips To Get Started On Solo Dates
So you want to start solo dating but you don’t know where to start? Here are some of my top tips:
- Make a list of all the activities that you like to do and want to do.
- Start out small: Take yourself to the cinema to watch a movie, sign up for a cooking class or go to your favourite tea/coffee shop for an hour.
- Travel: Explore your own city or town. When you feel comfortable, do a staycation trip in another city. Then venture to a few countries in your continent, then internationally if you wish.
How To Plan The Perfect Dating Experience
Now you know the importance of self-dating and how to get started on solo dates, let’s level up and plan the perfect dating experience for you.
- Schedule your date nights into your calendar. Choose a day with the least distractions and responsibilities so you can focus on yourself.
- Create a solo date jar of ideas to keep it new and creative. It can be something small like taking yourself to a bookstore or signing up for a pottery class.
- Make it special by getting dressed up, doing your hair and makeup or wearing your favourite outfit.
- Take it seriously and treat it as a proper date. Make a commitment to yourself and show yourself love.
- Choose an activity that you think you’d like but make it slightly out of your comfort zone. It takes courage to date yourself.
Solo Date Ideas
Let’s get into the exciting part, the actual ideas themselves! These are meant to inspire you so adapt them to your own likes and dislikes. Drumroll please:
- Spend your day exploring your city like a tourist
- Book yourself for an afternoon at the spa for a massage
- Book a night at your favourite hotel
- Spend an evening at the opera or a symphony orchestra concert
- Reserve a table for one at your favourite restaurant
- Do a Sip N Paint Night in your city
- Book a solo trip or a staycation
- Take yourself out on a shopping spree
- Bake a cake or two at home
- Do an online cocktail or mocktail making class
- Grab your cozy blanket and spend the day reading at home
- Go rock climbing
- Take yourself to an immersive dining experience
- Sign up for a cooking class
- Do a solo picnic in the park or in the vineyards
- Buy yourself some pjs and lingerie
- Go glamping for the weekend
- Spend the day in nature
- Take a scenic bike ride
- Sign up for an Air BNB local experience
- Sign up for a dance class
- Go to an indoor rollerskating rink
- Take yourself to museum or art gallery
- Try a new sport or workout class
- Create an at-home spa experience
- Go to a farmer’s market
- Go for a swim
- Sign up for an archery class
- Sign up for a horse riding class
- Take a photography class
- Cook yourself a three course meal
- Take yourself paragliding
The ideas are endless! I had to stop there as I could go on for years and you’ll never see this blog post.
Final Thoughts
Dating yourself is a powerful practice and experience. All these ideas are fun and include some self care options, personal growth options and daring options. Throw out idea of being alone out of the window! Life is meant to be lived to the fullest and widest, so go out there and have some fun! Lastly, I recommend that everyone takes themselves out on a solo date regardless if you are single, married or in a relationship. It doesn’t matter what kind of solo date that you do. What matters is that you are spending intentional time getting comfortable with yourself.
I hope that this has given you the confidence to get out there and start dating yourself. Make sure to hit that subscribe button to join the community and never miss out on a post. Find me on Instagram, Pinterest and TikTok for more powerlifting and wellness content.
Until next time
Folakemi
